I have so much running through my head. So many questions. I have been struggling for several weeks as to why I feel so out of sorts while at the same time knowing I was anchored to the Lord. In fact, “anchored” is the word which has kept me going. He kept reminding me that I was safe in His presence, but the feelings of isolation have inexplicably haunted me.
I often go to the beach to seek uninterrupted time with Him, so today I was on my way, hoping for some divine guidance. But I turned the car north instead, and ended up at the bayfront. Sitting on a bench in the sun, I prayed, then focused on the scene in front of me (pictured) . And the word “anchored” once again echoed through my head.
“What do you see, Regina?”
A dinghy, in shallow water, secured to the shore. And sailboats, anchored in deeper water.
“They are both anchored. What are the differences?”
The dinghy is built to operate in safe harbors. It has limited but sufficient safety gear for the situation. It has limited capability for provision. It is always anchored in shallow waters.
“And the sailboats?”
They are built for open waters. The people on them are sheltered if storms come up, as they provide covering. They can go many more places, and a strong wind actually propels them forward, it doesn’t impede them, it frees them. Capability for provision and safety is ample. Even when they anchor, they stay in deep water.
“What is their relationship?”
The dinghy is not meant for long term use. It is used for times when shallow waters need to be navigated, but they return to the sailboat after a time.
Because if the sailboat tries to navigate shallow waters, it will get grounded.
And with that, He taught me why I am feeling so stuck. I have experienced the freedom of the sailboat, sailing both smooth and choppy waters; clear and dark skies. But with His Spirit and provision and shelter, I was well prepared and actually enjoyed the ride through deep waters and uncharted places. Lately, I have been trying to sail in shallow waters, getting by with the minimum and relying on others lessons – great lessons, for sure, but not learned from deep time with Him.
I have been hiding in the safety of the harbor, and I haven’t asked for His wind to fill my sails. I got stuck. I have always been anchored in His grace. But I was anchored in the wrong place. I don’t belong in the shallows.
This is not the life of freedom that God would have for me. It’s time to paddle back out, lift the anchor and once again head out to open waters. It may not be as safe, but it is where He designed me to be.